Journaling of the heart
by Aeon Snowbreeze
Summary: There's an event taking place in Kyoto and Eishun Konoe needs the assistance of both his daughter and her bodyguard. This is the diaries of the two spending time together. Drifting closer or apart, through life and in heart.
1. 25th of July: Setsuna

___Diary of Setsuna Sakurazaki.  
_

_Thursday, 25th of July._

Dear diary,

Is this right? I've never written a diary before. To be perfectly honest I didn't know such a thing existed in the first place. It feels a bit awkward writing in here like I'm writing to a person, but Ojousama said that that's the most common way of writing in your diary. Or journal. She told me that I can call it that instead if I think it's embarassing. Maybe I would have if she had given me a pink one but you're a leather book. Hah, it still feels weird to write like this. I'm however grateful towards her. It wasn't even a special occasion.

Today I arrived in Kyoto with Ojousama. Her father is hosting a huge event and he asked us to join him during the preparations. There's this annual cherry blossom event in Kyoto that has gotten a lot of attention the past few years because of this fundraising ball and this year he was chosen to host it. It's quite the honor. It doesn't surprise me though. The Konoe name is held very high in all of Japan and not just among those practicing witchcraft but also among the common population for raising money for e.g. sustainable land management and other environmental and conservation friendly ventures. He sure rubbed off on his daughter. Always so keen to help out and assist everyone.

We took a train ride very early this morning. I don't even think Asuna was back home from her paper route when we left. Luckily, we are on summer vacation so we won't miss any school work. After summer we begin our last year as seniors at Mahora. It's a bit melancholy to think that this is our last school summer vacation. Next year we are graduating students by this time around.

Since you're my personal diary I think I should at least be honest in here.

I'm having a hard time spending so much time alone with Ojousama. I don't have a problem with it when we're in school because there's so many people around us that it keeps me busy most of the time having to constantly be on the edge in case of an unexpected attack. But out here I have her under constant watch all the time. Without any bustling and noisy classmates. It's just us two. I'm blushing now and I shouldn't, I know.

Oh, it's already 7:04 pm I should get ready. We were asked to join her father for a welcoming dinner at 8 pm when we arrived. He's been out of the house the entire day and couldn't greet us when we first arrived this morning.

I will probably write more in you when I get back. You'll be placed under my pillow for now.

* * *

I'm back from dinner.

I had the hardest time concentrating tonight. I don't think I can remember most of what Eishun-sama said and it bothers me because I've never been so distracted before.

After I put you away securely under my pillow after my last entry I decided to walk straight to Ojousama's room to see if she was awake. Granted we were up really early to be able to get here so quickly today and so I wouldn't have been surprised had she decided to take a nap.  
She wasn't asleep but when I knocked on the door there was no answer. I immediately, as her loyal bodyguard, decided it best to enter without permission in case of emergency. Asleep or not.

She came out from the bathroom all dressed and sent me one of her beaming smiles before asking me to help her with the dress. It was an elegant black tight fitted dress that she had bought a few weeks before. I remember that day very clearly for we had been out shopping the entire day and not managed to find anything that Ojousama liked. And I admit, I am a poor critic when accompanying her on these sort of trips. Everything she wore looked great on her. But when she stepped out of that dressing room, my heart almost stopped beating. She must have noticed the effect because she immediately followed through with a purchase.

So there she stood in front of the mirror in that black dress. Really, for Ojousama to wear something like that would make anyone feel underdressed. I myself was wearing what she always calls the traditional bodyguard outfit that I always wear when attending important dinners or other events that will have Ojousama dressed up like this. That sounds overly protective of me. But it is true. It is the most easy way to estimate the value of the event. The way Ojousama dresses. She's got a knack for looking her best always and it attracts unwanted attention at times. The dress still had that effect on me though.

I know I'm out of line for thinking this let alone writing it down but she truly is the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes upon. She's matured so much over the last few years, I'm not sure she's realized it herself. Quite innocent still though. Which isn't bad at all believe me. I'm honestly surprised she hasn't found anyone yet. Hopefully it will be a while before she does. I want to.. Well I want to get used to the idea of her being with someone first. Because as soon as she has found... _a man_, of her choosing.. She will forget about me. And that's okay. I've known this since we were children but somehow I've managed to block that thought out for years. The reality that she won't be in my life forever.

It's a big day tomorrow. Ojousama is meeting with a big donor before the actual ball. Apparently he's got a daughter who might be joining us as well. I was really glad to hear that. At least I can rule out the possibility of an omiai.


	2. 27th of July: The meeting

_Diary of Setsuna Sakurazaki._

_Saturday, 27th of July._

Dear diary,

We met with a few business partners to the Konoe family yesterday morning. Very early. It wasn't a very stimulating meeting. Especially not for a certain exhausted mage almost dozing off into my shoulder half of the time. I would have laughed had it not been for the strained looks I received from her father. I take the blame completely for her behavior however, since it was me who suggested she relax herself the night before. The arcade wasn't my idea, but I should have known what she'd lean towards when being offered a choice of activities. I'm just glad we could spend some time together.

After the meeting we of course went back to our separate rooms to take a nap. I was afraid she'd offer me an invitation to join her inside her room for a chat but fortunately she was too tired. She even mistakenly opened the door to the janitor's closet and was honestly surprised at how tiny everything looked until I stepped in and explained the situation.

We had a lot on the agenda yesterday and one of the main events was the meeting between Ojousama and Mr. Akimoto with daughter. A CEO of a big enterprise in the city. I had overheard in the garden that he was to send his daughter to act on his behalf whilst greeting us because of strained relations in the "main building". I took this as a sign of discordance between him and Eishun-sama. It is an unusual thing though. Eishun-sama is a man of just morals and is easy to get along with. But perhaps I am biased since I've known him and the Konoe family since I was a child.

The strangest thing happened upon meeting the daughter of the Akimoto family. Or perhaps not strange but she wasn't like I had imagined her to be. I was picturing inside my head a stern looking girl ready to partake in formal conversations with the daughter of the Konoe family. But not at all! She was much like Ojousama herself only more... Mature. It was interesting hearing her speak. I really understood why her father would bring her to such an event as this and partake in meetings building towards future partnerships or simply, strong friendships. She was simple but at the same time there was a sense of depth by the way she spoke. What surprised me most was when she brought me into the conversation. Honestly I was quite taken aback by it. It rarely happens that my opinion is discussed or even taken into consideration.

We parted ways after a long dinner and I managed to squeeze in some meditation before retiring to bed. That's pretty much what happened yesterday.

Now I woke up quite early today and went for a run. Unfortunately for my muscles I had, the night before, allowed myself to get a taste of Ojousama's delicious baking skills before returning to my room for the night. I'm not sure what triggered the housewife in her when we returned after the walk in the garden but it was amazing nonetheless.

I bumped into the daughter of Akimoto when I was out running. She was doing yoga and we got to chat for a bit. To my surprise she asked me if I wouldn't mind having my breakfast with her. I was about to decline because it felt a little inappropriate and I knew Ojousama probably wanted to have breakfast together but then I realized that I was being silly and that me and Kaori, which is her name, would probably not be alone anyway and that Ojousama would still be sleeping by the time I got back. I couldn't help but feel a bit guilty though... I've always had breakfast with Ojousama.

When I entered the dining room I was surprised that the only person present was her. She smiled and I instantly became a bit uncomfortable but sat down in front of her. I am not used to spending time with people on my own outside of the class of 3-A and some, still, rubs me the wrong way. She made me a bit nervous though. Like I was put on a stretcher. It's difficult to describe without it sounding, well, weird. And honestly it isn't meant in a bad way.

She is a really interesting person. Kaori. I asked her about herself and although she described her home where she grew up I think she was being quite evasive, more interested in me. This surprised me, yet again! This girl seems to have a knack of doing that. Or it is a sign that I need to get out more. Whatever the case she is quite intriguing. She has the ability to make everything sound interesting. A lot of passion resides within her and she dresses her experiences so vividly in words that I feel like I'm actually there. There was a lot of things Kaori made me think about. Like for example the recent developments in Japan. I'm not even involved or have real interest in such matters! Honestly I've been living under the code "_Protect Ojousama nothing else is important_" for so long that I've forgotten about a lot of things. It was like I moved out of my shell. It must sound insane but… I became a person for a while. And it felt good.

Honestly time flew by so quickly I didn't even look at my watch before I noticed officials were being seated at the tables around us to eat their lunch. I panicked for a second and she noticed because she laughed a little and told me not to worry and then thanked me for my company.

"You really remind me of someone." She said to me when we were on our way out the door. I didn't know and so I asked "Who?" and she turned to me with a charming smile on her face and said "Myself."

As she was walking away from me I couldn't stop the smile from forming on my lips. Because we had been talking about different sides of a person and how we are perceived by people who think they know us but they don't really know all of you. It was a compliment she had given me.

Part of me was really glad that I had had breakfast with her because I had discovered another side of myself. But another side of me was terrified. I had completely forgotten about my duties while indulging in seemingly "pointless" conversations with a woman I'm not even supposed to speak to without proper company. I had forgotten my place and had falsely placed myself on a much too higher pedestal by giving myself the opportunity to "socialize" like equals. But why do I feel so good about it then? Not even when Ojousama questioned me did the feeling go away. I'm not even sure what to make of it. This really scares me. It's better I not speak to her alone again. But why do I feel like I want to take the same route tomorrow morning and see if she's doing her yoga at the same spot?


End file.
